


Light in the Dark

by Safeira



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bang Chan is Bad at Feelings, Depressed Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Existential Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Pining, Sad Lee Felix (Stray Kids)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:22:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27417223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Safeira/pseuds/Safeira
Summary: Light and Dark cannot exist without the other as Chan and Felix find out.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	Light in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

  * For [withustars](https://archiveofourown.org/users/withustars/gifts).



When Lee Felix was kidnapped by Chan, he was frightened. What could a Darksider want with _him?_ It turned out that there was a motive behind his kidnapping; Chan wanted an apprentice. Chan had taken him away from the Jedi Temple and he seriously doubted that anyone had even noticed his disappearance.

Despite how long he’s been there, he hasn’t made any friends because of that bantha poodoo of a Jedi Code. He had no attachments to anyone, which made it easy to leave that life behind him. He put up a token resistance, but he much preferred being on a ship adventuring with Chan.

“The Force brought me to you and it showed me a great future,” Chan had told him, patting his head fondly. “You’re going to have a wonderful time with me, Felix.”

And he did, he really did. Except, that all ended when Chan came back with another Force-sensitive and had declared that he was his new apprentice.

“Lix, meet my new apprentice, Seo Changbin.”

Standing next to Chan was a shorter man with an intense glare, he looked nothing like Felix, who was more on the petite side. His arms were thick with muscles and his thighs were similarly built. In short, Changbin was built like a bantha.

At first, Felix was really excited.

“It’s nice to meet you, Changbin!” He beams happily at the elder boy who softens at Felix’s pure and radiant smile.

“You too, Felix.” Felix is surprised at how much a tiny smile transforms Changbin’s face and smooths out the harsh lines of his angular chin.

Felix will finally have a sparring partner that isn’t Chan (who kicks his ass eight ways to Primeday) and a friend to talk to who also isn’t Chan.

And Changbin really does fulfil his expectations, until he doesn’t.

When Changbin finally gets the hang of the force choke, he constantly uses it on Felix to end fights before they even begin. Every time Felix is held in the air as Chan watches, he’s disappointed but not surprised that the elder doesn’t intervene at all.

So he stops attending the daily spars.

Chan doesn’t say anything.

It’s even worse when Changbin just talks to him casually after that, like he hadn’t just been choking the very life out of Felix. No harm, no foul, _right?_

_Wrong._

So he starts avoiding seeing Changbin too.

He’s aware that he’s withdrawing into himself, whereas before, he wore his heart on his sleeve and didn’t bother hiding anything. Now, he constantly shields his emotions within the Force and it wears down on him, terribly so. He’s turning into someone that’s more machine than man and he doesn’t think he can keep going on like this.

Felix has never felt hate before, but when he comes across Chan and Changbin laughing and joking together, looking happy in their own world, he thinks he might know what it feels like now.

He’s been so used to having Chan’s attention and his affection that the sudden change in demeanor between them is almost dizzying. He can’t help but think, _is that all he was good for? A shiny toy to play with until something better comes along?_

Felix’s blood boils with an anger that he’s never felt before. Not even when he was kidnapped did he feel this way. He decides to attend the next spar.

_‘I’ll show them…! I’m not weak!’_

The next day, he enters the sparring room and both Chan and Changbin look surprised to see him there.

“Looks like Felix has decided to join us today,” Chan says mockingly. “Done running away?”

Felix doesn’t say anything and lets the words feed into his anger. Changbin, sensing something wrong, tries to talk to him.

“Felix? Are you sure you want to spar?”

Instead of using his words, Felix lets his actions do the talking as he flicks on his lightsaber and settles into his stance. Changbin similarly readies himself. Chan looks at the both of them and nods his head.

“Begin.”

Before Changbin can even move a muscle, Felix already has his hand up as his eyes glow a sickly shade of yellow. Following that, Changbin drops his lightsaber and clutches at his throat, trying to gasp for air as his face turns purple.

“Felix! _Stop it, right now!_ ”

He’s drowning in so much anger that he doesn’t register Chan’s voice until his face stings and he’s on the floor, clutching at his rapidly swelling cheek.

_Chan slapped him!_

Felix glares fiercely at Chan, “Why did you stop me?!”

“You could’ve _killed_ him, Felix!” Chan yells back at him and Felix takes a glance at the coughing Changbin before baring his teeth in an animalistic snarl.

“You never stopped _him_ when he was choking me!”

Chan looks taken aback for a second but schools his expression back into anger and stands dangerously over Felix, completely dwarfing the younger man. “Changbin knows when to stop, unlike _you!_ You’re untrained and have no control over yourself or the Force!”

Felix recoils at that and trembles. He slowly gets up, avoiding Chan’s intense gaze and runs out of the room without sparing a single glance behind him. If he did, maybe he would’ve seen Chan looking regretful.

  
  


Felix’s self-appointed mission of avoiding the two Darksiders was going considerably well. However, nothing good ever lasts and Chan finally manages to corner him to talk approximately a week after he lost his temper.

“What the heck is going on with you, Lix?”

The last thing Felix wants or needs is to be questioned about what he’s going through.

“Shut your _kriffing_ mouth, Chan—” Felix gasps as realizes what he just said and before he can even begin to apologize, his breath is cut off. Chan’s yellow eyes are glowing menacingly as he snarls at Felix and the tears finally fall from the younger’s eyes unbidden.

“Don’t you _ever_ talk to me like that again Felix!” His hand is held up as he uses the Force to constrict Felix’s windpipe. He looks at the boy’s tear-stained face and slowly releases his hold, thereby allowing Felix to drop onto his knees.

“Talk to me when you’re back to your senses.” Chan scoffs as he walks away, leaving Felix behind on the floor as he sobs to himself.

_Kriff Chan, Kriff Changbin… both of them can go to Hell for all he cares._

Felix somehow makes his way to his chambers without passing by any of the ship’s crew and curls up on his bed, sniffling. He’s had enough of this, he just wants to escape somewhere far, far away from Chan. Except, he doesn’t have anywhere to go and it’s not like Chan is going to let him go either.

 _‘Or is he? Face it, you’re useless to him at this point. He has the perfect apprentice, Changbin literally beat you in a week and you’ve been here for months. He doesn’t need you anymore.’_ That little voice inside his head whispers all the poisonous thoughts that he’s been keeping at bay. _‘Poor little Felix… you’re weak. You refuse to learn how to use the dark side and now you’re about to be thrown away like yesterday’s trash.’_

He wants to shake his head, tell the voice that he’s wrong, but he already knows that it’s painfully right.

“C-Chan…”

Felix’s heart aches and he thinks that he’s stuck in a cycle of emotional anguish and torment.

The door to his room abruptly opens and all of a sudden, he’s being gathered into warm arms that rock him back and forth soothingly. A wail wrenches itself from the depths of his throat and he can feel a hand rubbing his back.

“ _Shh,_ let it all out…”

Felix hears the voice and recognizes it as _Chan’s_. He’s torn between wanting to bury himself further into the embrace and pushing Chan away as far as he possibly can. He does neither. He doesn’t even want to exist right now, if he’s being honest with himself.

Nonetheless, Felix continues crying until he’s too tired and winds down into hiccups and shuddering sobs that wrack through his body like a bad cold. Through it all, Chan holds him and whispers words of comfort that make his heart hurt even more.

Chan has no idea why Felix has been so off lately. He’s so used to the happy sunshine that this dark gloomy cloud is wholly unfamiliar to him. He was more used to the concept of tough love, so when Felix had entered the sparring chamber, he had treated him harshly out of a misguided sense of wanting him to do better. When he felt Felix’s anger, instead of being satisfied and happy that his little one was finally turning to the dark side, he only felt alarmed. He didn’t like it, it just felt so wrong.

Chan had just wanted to scold Felix and talk to him, turn him back into the happy person he was before. Instead, he just hurt him even further. He didn’t know what to do anymore.

And now, he could feel Felix’s emotions clearly through the Force. There was so much pain and turmoil that the fact that it was coming from Felix made him question if it was all just made up in his mind. And then he heard him, heard Felix calling for him through the Force along with all every single emotion that he was feeling in the present.

With a heart heavy with worry, he bolts to Felix’s chambers and holds him the way he’s always wanted to. He comforts him as much as he can but it’s not enough. Chan wishes he could be more open with him, wants Felix to confide in him and talk like they used to. But Chan ruined it, like he ruins everything else in his life.

Him and Changbin have gone from being Master and Student to friends, but it has cost him his easy relationship with Felix. The light of his life. The one who cheered him up when he was feeling down. The one that _the Force told him is his entire future._

Stars! He’s so _stupid_. He’s _in love_ with Felix.

“I’m sorry Felix,” He whispers to the younger man, cautiously feeling him out with the tendrils of the Force, “I’m _so_ sorry that I hurt you… and didn’t notice until now.”

Felix finally realizes that his shield has dropped and Chan can feel everything that he’s feeling, but he can’t bring himself to care. His previous angst has been replaced with dangerous apathy and Chan panics, looking at glazed over eyes.

He drops his entire facade of anger and hatred and makes sure that Felix is looking into his eyes. “Felix, I’m sorry I didn’t realize this earlier but… I love you.”

Felix shakes his head in disbelief and a hint of anger, “You’re just saying that… to hurt me,” Something squeezes Chan’s heart and he feels like a complete slimeball. It’s fair, he guesses, that Felix thinks that he’s just playing with him. He deserves it.

“L-Leave me alone…” Felix’s voice cracks and this time it’s Chan shaking his head negatively. “No, I’m not leaving you Lix, not when you’re in this condition.”

Eventually, Felix relaxes into Chan’s hold and breathes in his scent. It’s comforting and familiar and also reminds him that he’s pining horribly over someone he can’t have. His distress must be obvious because Chan hugs him again and his face is buried in the elder’s neck.

“Lix, I’ll say it as much as I have to until you believe it.” Chan murmurs softly into Felix’s fluffy hair, “I love _you._ ”

Chan keeps repeating it, over and over again, until Felix pulls away and looks up at him with stars in his reddened, swollen eyes and the galaxy imprinted on his blotchy skin. His breath is stolen away and it isn’t anything Force-related this time.

“I…” Felix hesitates for a moment, swallowing his nerves. “I love you too…”

There’s no dramatic proclamations of everlasting love, no monsters to fight to save the damsel in distress, only a quiet acknowledgement.

He rests his lips lightly on Felix’s forehead. “I know.”

And Chan does, he feels it in the Force and their once-deteriorating bond slowly begins to mend itself.

On the other side of the ship, Changbin’s lips curve upwards, smiling to himself as he feels the positive energy resonate once again through the Force. He’s happy for Chan and Felix, both of them are his close friends and they deserve happiness.

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the Chanlix Star Wars au that no one asked for  
> I was minding my own business, thinking of Seunglix and all of a sudden I get attacked by angsty Chanlix plot bunnies. It was crazy and now that I've gotten this out of my system, I can go back to writing my Seunglix.  
> I apologize if this fic is totally inaccurate (okay, it definitely is) but I love Star Wars and SKZ so combining them sounded fun


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